Would it be too much to cry out for help here as I once used to, without fear of being thought of as self-absorbed and attention-seeking? Would you hate me or lose respect for me, just because I told you I was, and still am suffering?

And tell me, why should I censor my words and my thoughts when this blog was supposed to be my confessional? Did I ever said I had an obligation to you to assimilate into some acceptable pretension of normalcy?

Oh, the melodrama of my deepest, darkest thoughts.

It's strange how we denigrate those who are clearly in pain and in need of a little bit of kindness. It's arrogant to judge just because we think we have a better handle on things - this is something most of us realise, but never seem to be able to keep in mind firmly enough.

Then again, I understand that it would be impossible to expect you to see things from my perspective. And it would be unfair to expect you to change your views on me, when I object so strongly to you imposing your values on me.

You know what? I've grown better at hiding things, but I've lost my voice along the way.


Huai Bin said...

I feel you.

I'm the same - damn, that's a good way of putting it.

Growing better at hiding things but losing your voice along the way.

Some people call it "growing up" or being "politically savvy".

Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if we were all just transparent.

Take care Irene!

Anonymous said...

Me miss the good ol' dark side. where be her?


David said...


There are people who will never understand you and what you go through.

This is how life works. Perception and how another listens and forms opinions about cannot be altered by your best efforts.

People are unique. You are an absolutley unique creation.

Both as different and the same as those you share this little planet.

Our basic needs are the same. However, what we seek, need and desire as individuals sets each apart from another.

There comes a point where trying to satisfy another is a waste of energy and effort. Why transform oneself into the image of you that the other desires?

You would cease to be you to please another? This makes no sense.

Be true to yourself, your heart and what in the depths of your soul you know is right.

As long as your values do not conflict with others or cause harm then you are on the moral and ethical path.

Anyone who seeks to change you into an alien image of what they wish you to become have stepped over the line of ehtical behaviour.

I wish you peace of mind, comfort and some how I wish the joy of living be returned to you!