Slept all of two hours before jolting out of sweet unconsciousness back into this dull pain of wakefulness.

Lack of sleep; tiredness - it seems to have become my litany.

I don't think I've had any rest in the past three weeks, except for the occasions where I have managed to knock self out with either sleeping aids or excessive amounts of alcohol. This can NOT continue. I need to fucking rest to actually get my life back.

I'm so frustrated I feel like shooting myself in the head and silence the bit of me that's refusing to chill a little, in the wee hours of the morning, and keeps me up with replays of depressing song lyrics in my head, complete with the acoustic guitars and all that.


Sherrie Pui said...

Cheer up Irene! Rest and listen to calm music =)

David said...


I have to ask you this since the type of nights you have seem to be a frequent occurence.

I have you ever talked with a counselour about the issues in your life that keep you awake?

Also if you have frequent night of broken sleep a doctor might help.

Even women can have sleep apnea, which can lead to serious health problems when left untreated.

I do wish you well and better sleep!


CreativeBitchin said...

sherrie: finally got SOME sleep but still not sleeping really all that well. ah well. baby steps.

david: no, i do not have sleep apnea. i just find it hard to rest when my mind's churning with heaps of undealt with issues. :\

David said...


You must be a distant relative to my wife.

She is the same way. Thoughts, plans, work, and problems can keep from sleeping quickly.

Even music runs through her mind at bedtime some nights.

Melatonin is a naturally occuring sleep aid that does help.

Finding a means to calm yourself and worry less about things you cannot control will be useful.